Be the SELF You CARE About
I remember sitting in my therapist’s office, sharing how negativity and stress seemed to be taking over my life. As I talked, I could physically feel the weight of it all—my body was tense, my arms and legs were crossed, my voice was higher, and my stomach was in knots. When my therapist asked what I really wanted, I suddenly said, “To feel cherished.” It was one of those moments where the right word just clicks. “Cherish” means so much to me. It makes me feel like I’m expanding, that there’s more warmth and lightness in my life. It’s such a comforting feeling. That moment made me realize how essential self-care is. Just like the word “cherish” brings me a sense of peace and space, taking time for myself and practicing self-care helps me nurture that feeling and find balance in my everyday life.
Do you notice how easy it is to put ourselves at the bottom of the to-do list? But self-care isn't just about taking a bubble bath or scheduling a spa day—though those are lovely too! It's about building a supportive relationship with yourself and finding ways to nurture your well-being. Here are a few (interactive) tips and tools to help you take good care of you:
1. Treat Yourself Kindly and Well
Imagine your inner dialogue as a conversation with a close friend. Would you berate them for every little mistake? Probably not. You’d likely offer them compassion and encouragement. Try extending that same kindness to yourself. (PAUSE… extend some kindness at this moment… go ahead, don’t be shy. How did you feel—uncomfortable, goofy?) It’s natural to have setbacks and flaws, but treating yourself with the same gentleness you’d show a loved one can make a huge difference. This practice aligns with cognitive-behavioral therapy principles, where reframing negative self-talk into supportive, positive affirmations can boost your mood and self-esteem.
2. Carve Out Time to Do What You Love
Do you have activities that make you feel truly good—cooking, knitting, reading, walking in nature, gardening? When life gets busy, we often push these activities aside, but they’re not just hobbies; they’re vital to our emotional health. (PAUSE… declare an activity that brings you joy). Engaging in activities that bring us joy helps counterbalance stress and fosters a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction. It’s not indulgence; it’s a necessary part of maintaining your mental well-being.
3. Be Your Own Best Friend
Think about the friend who’s always there for you, no matter what. Now, imagine offering that same unwavering support to yourself. Being your own best friend means celebrating your wins, comforting yourself during tough times, and being patient with your flaws. It’s a practice rooted in self-compassion, a key component of many therapeutic approaches. This self-compassion helps you build resilience and face challenges with a kinder, more constructive mindset.
4. Hold Space for Yourself
Holding space for yourself means creating a mental and emotional environment where you can be fully present with your thoughts and feelings. It’s about setting boundaries and giving yourself permission to step back when needed. (PAUSE… think of something happening in your life right now that could use some gentle support. Imagine placing it into your hands and allowing yourself to support it. What emotion does this activity evoke in you?) In psychotherapy, this concept is often linked to mindfulness—being aware of your emotions without judgment and giving yourself the grace to process them. By holding space, you respect your own needs and create a healthier relationship with your emotions.
5. Spend Time with Yourself
Spending time alone isn’t just about solitude; it’s a chance to reconnect with who you are and what you need. It might be through quiet reflection, journaling, or simply sitting in silence. This kind of self-time helps you tune into your own voice and align your life with your values. It’s a key aspect of self-awareness in psychotherapy, helping you understand yourself better and make choices that truly resonate with you. (PAUSE… literally pause and give yourself four slow breaths.)
Self-care isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach—it’s a personal journey of discovering what nurtures and supports you best. By treating yourself with kindness, making time for joy, being your own cheerleader, holding space for your feelings, and spending quality time alone, you’re investing in your own well-being. Remember, you deserve this care and attention. Embrace these practices as a way to honor and cherish yourself, and you’ll find a deeper sense of peace and fulfillment in your everyday life.
Take good care of yourself,
Janet